


i sprinkled sugar on my pillow, so why...?

by Ramencat5



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - School, Angst, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Freckles, Friend-Insert, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Insert, These take place in my coaching centre, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, ask to tag, but it's more like a school so I have it tagged as school, dream fic, is that a thing?, my friends are in this, or are related to my coaching centre
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24585859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramencat5/pseuds/Ramencat5
Summary: A collection of Stray Kids dreams I've had that I can remember.
Relationships: Lee Felix (Stray Kids)/Reader
Kudos: 5





	1. 26/3/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix is in my class during a free period, and I'm the girl with a crush on him and his star-covered face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> High school au, classmates, friendship/love, fluff, kissing, Felix/Reader

I pause by the front door of my coaching center, the building familiar as always. The guards stationed there spray my hands with disinfectant once I hold my ID card up to the scanner - a new policy they've taken up since the news of the virus outbreak. Heading up the stairs quickly, I dart down the hallway straight into my classroom and let out a breath of relief when I pull the door open. The teacher isn't here yet. I ease my grip on the strap of my side bag and head inside.

Upon reaching my usual spot up front on the left division of desks (no one ever likes sitting in front of the teacher, so I have the space to myself on most days), I realize I forgot to sign in with the fingerprint scanner. Drat. I set my bag down and turn, the scanner's on the wall opposite to where I sit.

For some reason the scanner is set in the middle of the wall instead of right beside the door. Strange, considering there are desks obstructing the way to it. Two boys are sitting at the nearest desks. Someone whose name I can't be bothered to remember (because half the class is absent on rotating days, and I'm one of the few who actually gives a damn about grades) and someone who I can't ever forget - Lee Felix. _Swoon_.

We know each other a decent amount, and he's the closest thing I have to a friend in this class when my squad isn't around. Not that we aren't friends, we _are_ , but not as close as I'd like to be. Then again, I wish we were _more_ than friends _way_ too often for it to be healthy.

I tuck my hair behind my ear. Tiny locks keep slipping past my head scarf, trying to annoy me on top of my being flustered at having to ask Felix to hold my white fingerprint-scanner-override card up to the machine. I mean he's closer to the wall, but that doesn't make things any better. It's embarrassing as is to have a separate classroom card to use because your hands sweat too much for the scanner to recognize your fingerprint.

I sidle up to the edge of the two desks and look past boy-whose-name-I-don't-know to look at the freckled love of my life, placing my card in front of him. "Uh, could you hold my card up to the scanner for me? I cant reach it."

Smooth, girl, real smooth. Awkward question plus highlighting my blatantly obvious height, or lack thereof, boys _love_ that. Not that I care about what boys like, no, those airheads have nothing better to do with their lives other than skip school and act inappropriately towards girls. With the exception of Felix, of course. He's sweet. He likes video games and dogs, and once tried to count his freckles to lighten the mood for me on a bad day. I love those freckles, and his voice, and the way his eyes shine when he's passionate about something-

"Here you go."

 _Snap out of it you're staring._ I'm too distracted by his face to notice he already signed me in and placed the white plastic rectangle in front of me. It takes me a second to register that no, I don't need to be standing there.

"O-oh, thanks." I swipe the card and take my place on the other side of the room.

We have a free period later, when most of the class (or rather, the dozen or so people who decided to show up today) shifts to the back of the room to gossip about topics I find useless or boring. Felix arranges the chairs around me so that three people can sit. He takes my spot and I sit by his left looking over the side of my desk. A chair stays between us in the corner. His desk-mate isn't around us though, so the extra gap is unnecessary.

All my life I've been explaining Math to people, so it's no surprise that I'm here beside Felix trying to explain numbers and formulas to him in the simplest manner possible. He needs to finish his classwork soon, so I move to the empty seat to get a better look at his problems and do a better job at explaining them (I definitely did not switch seats because I want to get closer to him, nope).

We fool around and talk in the middle of it, because I'm no advocate of 'all work and no play'. Finally, he understands the content. I know this because he lights up when he shows me a problem he's solved on his own and I tell him it's correct. He quickly finishes working through the rest of the questions on the worksheet and flashes a toothy smile at me. His triumph is contagious, so I stand up with with a cheer.

"Yes! Good job, bro."

No one in the back turns their heads at me despite how loud I am against their hushed whispers. They never acknowledge my existence anyways; to them Felix and I might as well have not been in the room.

I stay standing and push the chair back, assuming he would want to return to his seat. Instead he looks up at me with a slightly questioning look that says 'no, I'm staying right here', and I purse my lips to speak.

Nothing I'm about to say matters, though, because at that moment we both realize how we look. Me, looking down at him, looking up at me with my head tilted downwards and lips quirked - as if I'm going to kiss him.

He gives me a half-smile and tilts his head to the side so his cheek is facing me. Oh dear lord. I cannot explain his eyes. They have a glint in them, as if he really wants this, as if he isn't pretending like he didn't just give me the opportunity to smooch him. His freckles are just barely noticeable in the light but oh heaven they're there, and they're gorgeous.

I go along with it and tentatively bend down. Starry boy leans up slightly, and then I kiss his cheek.

Let me tell you firsthand - he has the slightest stubble, as if he hasn't shaved for two days. It's a little bristly against my lips, but do I care? Nope.

He doesn't smell like honey, or roses, or sweat, or perfume, no. He has his own personal scent, something familiar and soothing, unique to himself. It reminds me of the way I smell sometimes. Is it just me who notices that people have their own aromas? I'd have to ask him that later.

I sit back down beside him, definitely pink at my cheeks and hella starstruck. He's trying to hide the huge smile on his face. Keyword: trying. No amount of lip biting can keep him from revealing the stupidly wide grin on his face that probably mirrors mine.

I speak softly, meeting his eyes. "That was... nice."


	2. 7/6/2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me, four friends, Lee Know, Han and Changbin are teamed up to win the first round of Road to Kingdom. Passing this round would get us a shot at winning the competition, because you can't win it unless you're in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idol au, competitions, partiality, hurt/comfort, crying, hugs
> 
> In this dream, Road to Kingdom works differently than the actual Mnet show. The concept of RTK here is that it's a nationwide competition that takes place in the US, with preliminary rounds occurring in different cities in every state. The winners of those preliminary rounds then move on to compete with other winners, and it's a battle of the best groups from there until one winner emerges in the finals and is awarded a contract to work as an idol group in the US. The preliminary round is made up of two sub-rounds, the first of which does not need to be performed by all members of the team. However, it is the more important half as scoring points in the second sub-round is much more difficult.
> 
> Since my friends and I have an au where we're idols, I'm using our stage names in lieu of actual names (aside from mine, my stage name is a nickname from my real name). The seven of us are as follows (in age order) - me (Rafs), Violet, Venus, Sei, Gloh, Blush and Artemis.

Violet and I are looking at a board that looks like a kid's board game, if I'm to be honest. But it's not nearly as simple as that. No, this board represents a lot. It's split into squares, each one containing a city in the US, idol group names written in Korean, and crown symbols beside each group name. A filled in crown outline represents an idol group that had won that round of the contest.

We ended up in the city where Oneus had performed Lit, and _won_. We were going to be doing our own rendition of the song in commemoration of their achievement.I put the board down, glancing at the only other team in the room that opposes us. They're a group of girls from our school, aiming to make it big in the USA and live the American dream. I scoff. They had, have, and probably will never have the passion for music that we do. They don't even appreciate Kpop, the only reason they came for the preliminaries was to win the contract and stay in the country for free. No-good leeches.

I look at my team members with admiration as they warm up, stretching and practicing their vocals in the small room that's more like a private audition setup than a stage. There are three out of my six girls, a talented bunch of friends I can't imagine a life without - Gloh, Artemis and Violet. We also have Han and Lee Know from Stray Kids, friends of ours who are willing to help us win this show. By some miracle we crossed paths and became close friends with them, but that's a story for later. I sigh. Changbin, along with my friend Sei, would be here too, but they decided to show up for the second sub-round instead once they finish perfecting our routine for it.

We're Team 1, and we own the stage. Team 2 does... less than average, barely pulling off a song cover, as I expected of them. Their leader is this one girl with glasses and fluffy wavy hair, whose name I can't remember. She's giving a speech to the judge (who happens to be the host as well) once they're done, about why they deserve to pass. Something about new experiences and challenges and other bullshit she makes up on the spot, probably promising the host some credit as well. We know him from before, back when he was our math teacher, but that gives her no right to kiss his feet like that. 

Once she's done buttering him up with her words, his biased ass has the audacity to announce, "Team Two wins!"

I realize I'm across from her, facing my team again from the other side of the room. Why am I so far away from them- oh. _Oh_. I'm the leader of my team. Right. I tend to forget that, what with me being the youngest of them all. And the shortest. And probably thus the most inexperienced. Why the seven of them - yes, including Minho, Changbin and Jisung - chose me to lead is beyond me.

I can barely breathe, all I hear is the deafening cheer of Team 2 hollering and partying on the side while my gaze is fixed on the five members I've spent weeks with, put in my sweat and tears with for this performance. Sure, we have sub-round 2 left before the actual results, but I quickly shake the thought away - unless we somehow pull an Overdose-mashed-with-Follow-and-Hard-Carry level performance, it's over.

All of that goes through my head in 5 seconds as I watch my teammates break down.

It's just the six of us now. The other team is gone, so is the host. Artemis and Gloh are standing next to each other, all the way to the right. They react first, hugging each other tight, like the time they met at Violet's place, only this time with tears. I'm still frozen in my spot as I glance over at the boys on the left, Jisung looking at Minho with concern while the older smiles. The same soft smile with sad eyes he gave when he got eliminated in the Mnet show, when he was still holding himself together, still being a hyung to his best ability for everyone else. Jisung scoops him into his arms and pulls him to sit on the floor anyways. I feel my own emotions bubbling up my throat, I need a person, to be a pair, I need a hug, I can't be a strong leader or say anything encouraging when this stupid biased competition was never set up to be in our favour-

I lock eyes with Violet standing in the middle. Oh Vi. I might be the leader, but I never felt deserving of the title. In my heart I always knew she should have been the one leading. Maybe it's my fault for not driving the competition away like she could have? I unfreeze and bolt to her, she pulls me into her arms - it's soft and soothing, but our arms firmly lock around each other and grasp so tightly one would think tomorrow wasn't coming. "I'm sorry," I mumble, starting to cry. She shakes her head.

I pull away enough to look at the boys again - Art and Gloh have each other covered, yet I can't help but think about Minho. He is the most passionate about this, the most determined to have us win this. He remembers what it was like to wait years and years before making it in the industry, and he wants us to have the quickest path to victory. He _knows_ we should have won, our performance exceeded the other team's by a landslide.

Minho was the one who gave us tips, who choreographed for us (with help, of course, Gloh and I wouldn't dream of passing up the learning opportunity), who brought us snacks and teased us to lighten the mood.

I thought Violet should be the leader for us girls, but Minho is an equal contender for that spot.

"Minho hyung," I whimper, reaching for him.

Hyung. Heh. Oppa never sounded right to me and Sei, and after asking permission we made a habit of calling the boys hyungs. To this day they can't stand either of us saying oppa anymore, not to them. On occasion they'd even call us little hyungs (but that's more Changbin's style when bothering Sei. I wonder if they're watching this unfold from their room).

It's selfish, I know. He already has Jisung and I have Violet, but I need him. I need Minho. I need to hold him and apologize and make it right to him because oh dear God have I disappointed him-

"Hyung," he lets out a breathy chuckle from over Jisung's shoulder. "Hmm?"

He looks up towards me with _that smile_. I let my tears fall freely and completely pull away from Vi.

"I'm... I'm sorry." He knows why I'm apologizing, eyes losing their crinkles as he goes to object. I cut him off with a voice that's too watery for my liking. "Can I hug you? Please?"

He looks at Jisung, who smiles. It's faint and small, but it's there. Jisung gets me and my emotions. He knows I rarely ask for affection despite needing it often, let alone asking to take someone away, and _from him_. He lets go and scoots beside Vi to talk, while Minho literally partly picks me up and drags me - carefully - over to him.

I don't think I've ever held anyone like this in my life, gently but with all the love and emotion I can't muster up with words.

"Don't be sorry, Raf."

Raf. Heh. He reminds me of Blush with that name. She always calls me that instead of Rafs.

"You okay?" I'm sure he can't hear me with how I mumble against his shoulder, yet he does. I know his smile falters without looking. I feel the tears dripping off his chin onto me. I don't care.

"Yeah," he lies. Quietly. I cant focus on anyone else with him this close, I just hope they're okay-ish. I'm not.

"I'm sorry." He shushes me and rubs my back. I want to say 'I wasn't a good leader, a good idea, I'm a screw up' but no words want to leave my mouth. He hears it in my breath, my tears, my touch, and I feel his unspoken words in how he curls up around me.

'It's okay,' he wants to say, 'it's not your fault'.

We say nothing, only sniffing in each other's arms. Me against him in the dim light, everything brown and grey and shadowy, echoing against the walls. We share the same thought, _it's not fair_. Even though he's famous, even though he isn't obliged to do anything for us, he cares so much, enough to feel our pain.

It's just the two of us, or it feels like it.

He's shaking with silent sobs that only I can sense. A mirror of my state.

We're not okay, but in each other's arms it feels safe, warm.

It feels okay.


End file.
